The Enigma
by Jitalatique
Summary: From the point of view of a character who seems to be the only person in the world who doesn't think he's an absolute loser, a "love" story is told. Try and guess who it is! SHOUNEN AI


I dialed the number automatically. I really hadn't given it much thought. I only considered doing it and as soon as I picked the phone up my fingers were dialing the number that would result in..

Well.

Hearing his voice made my knees weak. I sat down on the sofa before I could collapse and weakly tried to come up with something to say. I could not, and I feared after his third "Are ya there, ya fuck!?" he would hang up and I would be too frightened to call him again. Without thought, I masked my voice and randomly said, "I have a job for you."

He said my name and I frantically pulled my shoe and then sock off. I put the sock over the receiver and said that I had no idea who that was. "I have a job for you," I repeated.

"Good for you, buddy! I ain't got all fuckin' day! Tell me what it is and maybe you'll get what ya want!"

I pictured his beautiful face as he said this and thought that perhaps I should just hang up and forget all about it. But no, he'd have his boys trace this number if I pissed him off too bad and I couldn't handle the thought of having him mad at me.

We'd been lovers. It was only for a night, but it was the greatest night of my life. I can't think of anyone more fun to be with than him, nor can I think of anyone who is more beautiful. We were made for each other and would have spent eternity together.. But his best friend interfered with our 'relationship' and it ended badly.

It wasn't _my_ fault.

Now I'm stuck with this chick who I can't get off of my ass. She was good for consoling me but now that I've decided to get up and win my near-boyfriend back she's nothing but a pain. She doesn't get the clues that I'm sending and after spending time with my friends she still doesn't believe that I'm gay.

But that's all beside the point. A few months ago I sent a friend of mine on a hunt to find out everything he could about this man that I love. He came back with a full name, an address, and all sorts of information about his business.

It seems my former lover runs one of those raunchy party lines. But he also doubles as hired work, doing pretty much anything with his gang of friends for a decent amount of pay. 

We'd run into each other a few times but always, always, always, his best friend came along and basically told me to give up. Personally, I think the best friend has a thing for him and uses the "he has someone already, leave him alone" excuse to try to get me to stop being competition. Oh, how I yearned to see my lover's sweet face again!

Okay, so we hadn't really run into each other. Anytime he almost looked at me his best friend yanked me into an alleyway and threatened to bite my balls off.

Hearing his voice sent pangs of bittersweet love pains through my heart. I'd called dozens of times just to hear his lovely voice and hung up. How he knew my voice in the beginning of the conversation I've never been able to figure out. But..! Now that I was on the phone with him, I had to come up with something for him to do.

"My friend is having a party," I said.

"Ya want a cookie?"

"I need you to wreck it."

"Don't make no sense," he grunted. "Thought he was ya' friend!"

"Uh.. I wanna wreck it because I'm in love with him and I'm scared someone will hook up with him if I don't!" I said quickly. He was silent, considering it.

"Where's he live?"

I told him, giving him all of the details and directions he would need. He said that what I wanted to do was dangerous because it was in such a ritzy neighborhood. I told him I'd pay him anything he desired upon the completion of his orders and he laughed, ultimately agreeing. But I didn't intend to pay him, I thought that our love being reunited would be payment enough.

That night I got a visit from none other than his best friend. The man showed up on my doorstep and idly pissed on the doormat as he used his free hand to ring my bell. He'd kicked over all of my potted plants and cracked my Ficus tree in half, too. When I opened the door he shook his member, sending droplets of urine onto my slippered feet. He then zipped himself up and stood tall, arms crossed over his muscular chest.

He's handsome, this best friend. He wears his black hair, so black that it was purple in the light, wildly and pretty short except for two pieces that hung on either side of his face. He's got these large dark brown eyes and the only thing that tears your own away from his is this big-ass scar on his left cheek. The savage probably got it in a bar fight or maybe gave it to himself because he seems like the type to get his jollies from that. I think he's a Russian and that would explain it. But to get back to my story..

"He knows you called da boss!" He said roughly.

"Who knows?" I asked with some confusion.

"Kouji knows!"

"But you're Kouji!" I said with growing annoyance. I looked at my destroyed plants but could not rush to aid them as Kouji was barring my way and didn't seem like he was going to move an inch until he got his point across.

"Wanna make something of it?" He asked me. And then the semi-playful light went out of his eyes and he snapped into a hateful mode. "You better stop callin', ya sicko! Da boss don't want nothin' ta do wit' yer ass! He don't even remember ya! He just knows yer ass is nasty!"

"What trash are you talking?" I asked just as hatefully. "He loves me! We shared a night of passion! And for your information," said I, "I did not call this morning about a party to be crashed!"

"Sure ya didn't," Kouji said heatedly. His gorgeous eyes narrowed at me and in his anger he spit on my feet, right next to one of the droplets of urine. His eyes didn't leave mine. "I'll kill ya if ya come near da boss again. Ya got that? You'll be pushin' up daisies before ya can blink." He left me there with that to chew on.

I wasn't phased in the least. Many times he had threatened me, not once had these threats carried through. I had no more reason to fear this Kouji bastard than I did the man on the moon. Instead of doing as Kouji told me and letting it go, the next day I visited the friend mentioned earlier in this tale.

My lover knows his shit. The neighborhood that my drop-dead-gorgeous friend lives it in the ritziest of the ritz.. Or whatever. Not a single home is under four stories and what my friend lives in could quite possibly be described as a palace. I knocked on the door and his doorman answered, giving me a look that I could not decipher. His eyes rolled back and for a second I thought that he may be having a seizure. 

"I'm here to see Hotohori," said I when the man had righted himself. He smoothed down his rumpled suit and made sure that his blonde locks were not tangled or anything. This man was an extreme perfectionist, down to the crease in his pants and the shine of his shoes.

"Your business?"

I laughed. The man always played this game with me. His eyes rolled back again and I stopped with my amused chuckling and cleared my throat. "Just wanted to say hello."

"I'll tell him for you," and he made to close the door but I laughingly pushed it open and went inside. The doorman is a nice man, but his sense of humor is harsh and I don't really understand it. With that thought I boarded the elevator and made my way to the eleventh floor where I knew that Hotohori would be in his room, right in front of his vanity.

It turns out I was right, of course. As I walked into the room I could see Hotohori sitting at his vanity having his hair long hair brushed. I don't know how he keeps it that long, I used to have mine near that length and ended up having it cut right off because I couldn't stand finding those stray hairs in my ass crack.

"Old friend," he said and then winced as a tangle of hair was caught in the brush. "Can't you do anything right, woman!?" He barked in annoyance at the servant, who was quite pretty with her red hair twisted and coiled into a large bun. She blinked in surprise.

"I'll leave you now," she said. She dashed out tearfully. I felt no remorse for her, she'd been working for Hotohori's father nearly her whole life, she should know by now how to brush Hotohori's hair.

"By the gods," said the polytheistic rich man who still lived with his parents, "you'd think you could find good work for the amount of money we pay to have these silly bastards screened!"

"Some slip through the cracks," I said with a shrug.

"Indeed," he quipped. He swiveled his seat so that he was facing me, legs together and hands in his lap he offered me a small smile. "How much do you need to borrow?"

"I'm not here for money!" I said with protest, and it was half of the truth! I was only going to ask Hotohori to allow the party he'd been planning for months to be crashed. That wasn't much, considering how long we've been friends.

"What is it then?" He asked without much curiosity. Hotohori is a bland creature when you get passed his looks. The sexy chocolate brown eyes that were slanted because I assumed he was one of those rich Asian men, I never asked about his nationality, and the rich brown hair that falls down to his waist do not make up for the fact that he is bored with his life. He has had everything that he's wanted and now there is nothing left to want for him.

"I kind of called.. HIM.. yesterday," I said while I played with the strings on my wind jacket. Hotohori raised an eyebrow at me. Said he, "I thought we agreed that you would forget about him."

"Oh, Hotohori, I couldn't!" I cried with frustration. "I called him and I freaked out, you know? So I told him I needed him to crash a party."

Hotohori was silent for a moment. "Is this going where I think it is?"

A pause. "Yes."

"Whatever makes you happy," he sighed and managed to look totally uninterested but I knew that he was slightly annoyed and disappointed that his party would be ruined. I felt bad for him but many times had I been there to console him when he got a pimple or a split end. This was the least he could do so that I could find my lost love and live happily ever after.

I went out to shop the rest of the day, vowing to look my absolute best so that he would immediately recognize me. The party was the next day and I stopped in at the local Supercuts for a discount trim on my beautiful head of hair. Finally, I picked up a tuxedo from Men's Warehouse because Hotohori's parties are always snazzy.

That night I found it hard to sleep. I tossed and turned and dreamed of my lost lover, dreamed of getting so near to him only to have Kouji and the other bullies push me away. I fought and fought, but to no avail! Things happen like this in nightmares, where you are unable to fight back against your enemies. I know that if Kouji even touched me in real life I'd have to twist his arm back until he apologized. I'm just a bad mother. Word.

I was so nervous the next morning that I threw up my English muffins. I couldn't keep anything down at all and was beginning to feel quite faint. I decided that the best thing to do was take a cold shower and get dressed, and that is just what I did. When I was done I watered all of the plants that I had salvaged after the attack by Kouji and gave my Yorkshire terrier Snuggles some food. Finally, I locked up and got into my Volkswagen bus with the peace sign on the dash to listen to some soothing classical music and have a pleasant drive to a small café where I would do lunch and then to Hotohori's house.

I had some pasta and afterwards a few bites of tiramisu if you're interested.

Once at the residence of Hotohori I did not bother to go into the house but hopped the back fence and into the back yard I went where the party was happening. There was at least one hundred people there, all chatting and laughing amidst the sounds of clinking glasses and the smells of delicious foods. I was looking forward to the fruit cocktail, myself.

I wandered around Hotohori's gorgeous backyard with all the tropical plants and exotic fish ponds that you could ask for until I met up with my closest friends. Hotohori was with them, dressed in an immaculate Armani suit colored a rich cocoa. I envied his ability to buy such treasures! With him was his boyfriend of sorts, Mitsukake. The two weren't an official couple but I liked to picture them together because they both pull off the 'I have a stick in my ass' act so well! Both were introverts and neither said much without being prodded.

Mitsukake is a rugged looking fellow. He can look incredibly handsome or nasty like some street-rat depending on how he keeps the hair on his face. I prefer him clean-shaven and that's what he was that night. He was without his usual headband that I associate with drug pushers and abusers, but in a simple yet elegant suit that practically matched Hotohori's own.

Nuriko and Chiriko are total opposites. Chiriko is a young man of average height and boyish charm. His slightly long mocha hair was kept in a neat ponytail down his back and his green, almond eyes were quick yet innocent. He himself was wearing a white silk button-up and a pair of dress pants that matched his hair color to the very tint. 

You may notice that I compare things to coffee and nuts quite often. That is because I enjoy nuts and I enjoy coffee, sometimes even at the same time. End of discussion.

Anyway, to get to the point, Chiriko was very handsome and on his arm was Nuriko. Nuriko, Nuriko, Nuriko..

The man with no shame.

Nuriko's hair is glaringly and can almost be described as offensively purple. It reaches his butt and is nearly always worn in a braid, but not that night. He let it fall loose that night, covering his back in ringlets of violet. He was very feminine, from the mole under his left eye to the build of his body he resembled a female. And he dressed it, too. Oh, did he dress it. That night he'd worn a black number, one that did not leave much to the imagination leg-wise. The slits came up on each side to thigh-high and both of his legs were decked out in fishnets. The dress hugged every damn curve in his petite frame. Every. Damn. Curve. And he wore heels. High heels.

I swallowed hard, knowing that I would have to wait until nightfall before my lover would come and do as I had asked he and his company to do. But for now what was I to do? Watch Nuriko strut around on Chiriko's arm like a prostitute and giggle and thank the passing waiters for the "scrumptious", as he put it, crabmeat balls? "I like it when they pack it into balls," he remarked in that fake simplicity that drives me up the wall.

But it always gets him what he wants. And that's laid.

  
"And," he continued, holding the waiters eyes with his own, "I think that you should invest in a new way of setting these up! I say you get two balls to a stick of meat," he meant, of course, crabmeat. "How's that sound, mm?"

"F-fine!" The waiter yelped and scampered off with a bulge in his pants that I daresay made me a little bit uncomfortable in that area myself.

"You are a devil, Nuriko," Mitsukake's bass voice murmured and Chiriko grinned up at the tall man.

"He is, isn't he?"

Nuriko merely gave us a most terrifying giggle and continued eyeing the waiters like a hungry hawk.

"You shouldn't encourage him!" I whispered so that the purple-haired man could not hear.

I spent the rest of my daylight hours snooping about and listening to the conversations of the couples and groups of friends. My own friends are sometimes embarrassing and I wanted this time alone to myself to try and calm the nervousness in my belly. I strayed from the foods and seeing the fruit cocktail that I had been craving caused my stomach to turn.

Instead, I loaded up on ginger ale and felt myself begin to get slightly lightheaded. Strong beverages do that to me and before I knew it I had wandered inside of the mansion and collapsed onto the couch. Someone came in on me like that and draped me with a blanket. Whoever did it wasn't paying attention because it was over my head and I may have ended up suffocating!

It was nightfall by the time that I dragged myself into the giant kitchen and took a few aspirins for my hangover. No more ginger ale for me, I vowed. Instead I would drink fruit punch and water. In my slightly inebriated state I somehow became lost in the kitchens until I heard the loud sounds of engines. I followed my ears and made it to the back of the cookery, where I pushed open the door and was met by cold night air and the sound of motorcycle engines blasting.

I knew then that he had arrived. The long line of bikes ended with a big black limousine. But why was he in a limo if he was supposed to be here crashing this party? It made no sense! No sense at all! And every guy on a motorcycle was dressed in his Sunday's finest, too. I assumed, and was correct, that I did not see the big, freakish Russian because he was in the limousine with my lover. It made my blood boil.

I ran along the outside wall of the house until I reached the fence that I had jumped previously. Over it I went again and my heart beat wildly as I searched around for Hotohori. When I finally found him, he was resisting the advances of a slightly drunken Nuriko who had obviously been into the Jack Daniels. I smelled it on his breath as he attempted to tell me to 'back the fuck off' of Hotohori, his man. Thoroughly disgusted I pushed him away and commenced to tell Hotohori that my love had arrived.

And that I didn't think things were going quite as planned.

Someone threw open the gates at that moment and I gasped in surprise. It was all going too fast. The contents of my stomach churned and I felt more than ill. The bikers filed in, hooting and hollering. But because they were dressed just as fine as the other party guests, no one thought to say anything to them. I waited forever to catch a glimpse of my lover, and when I finally saw that head of fire I nearly fainted.

There he was, flanked on either side by the biggest bodyguards I had ever seen. Kouji was laughing and roughhousing with his bandit friends and my love was grinning fondly at one of his bodyguards. But when they turned to walk towards the food table, I saw that it was not one of his guards, but someone on his arm! Male or female, I could not tell from the distance I was at.

My love.. Oh, he was gorgeous! He was decked out in finery, earrings hanging from his sexy ears and a long black and blue jacket down to his knees, meeting boots of that same height. His golden eyes, the little fangs peeking out over his lips, and the fiery red hair caught my eyes and I could not look away from his beautiful face.

And on his arm! As he approached I could see that horrible little bitch! Dressed in a kimono, with the same amount of shame as Nuriko. None! He giggled and hung onto my love like the disgusting leech that he is. With his nasty blue hair, why is it that most of the ukes have to pretend like they are female? I hate it!

"Tasuki!" I cried and ran over to pull that blue bitch off of him. But the guards stopped me dead in my tracks. They came together, arms crossed, like bouncers from Hell.

"Mr. Shun'u don't take lightly to strangers!" One of them said.

"I hired him to crash this joint!" I cried.

"Oh, you," another one of them laughed. "Kouji told us to look out for _you_."

"'Ey, lemme through, eh! I wanna apologize to this man, I tol' him I was gonna crash this party but Chichiri insisted since it was in such a nice neighborhood that we should attend it instead! And you know how he is when he don't get his way!" The guards parted and Tasuki, with this Chichiri fellow leeching onto him, appeared before me. There was no recognition whatsoever in his face. "It's you, eh?"

"Yes, it's me! You don't remember, do you!?" I yelled at him. I was angry that Kouji and this Chichiri bitch had brainwashed my memory from him. "Tasuki, my love, we shared a night of passion months ago!"

"The fuck?" He said. Then Kouji arrived.

"Yeah, Genrou! Can this fine-ass mother fucker barge in on this shit? Of course he can! Let Kouji explain. This is that weirdo that keeps calling and shit. He says you two have had sex! He thinks you and he are gonna live happily ever after in some cardboard box under the freeway or some shit. I don't think he really knows who you are, exactly!"

"I think you're right," Tasuki growled. He pointed a brainwashed finger at me, opening his mouth to say something when Chichiri put a hand on his arm.

"Let me take care of this no da," he said. The bitch sounded like he'd been kicked in the nuts if you ask me. As you can tell I really hate this man and I'd probably punch him in his pretty little nose if I saw him in the street alone. Like I said, I'm a bad mother. Word.

"Oi, Chichiri!" It rolled off of his tongue and I shuddered in disgust. "Go easy on him, eh?"

I knew it! One last fiber of love for me still remained in his heart! Chichiri grabbed my hand with a grip surprising of someone who looks like a total pansy and pulled me off to a secluded part of the yard. He grabbed me around the neck and slammed me into the fence. When he spoke, his voice was much deeper than it had been in front of Tasuki. The fake!

"Listen to me, you stupid piece of shit.. You think he wants you? Why would we want a boy like you when he can have a man like me? You," he pulled me and then slammed me back up against the fence, "back off. Understand? He's mine. He doesn't need you. He doesn't _want_ you. You are nothing."

I said nothing, just giving him a look that I imagine to be quite intimidating. He made a sound in his throat, almost like a laugh but I knew it was a sound of fear! He turned and walked away from me with Kouji, who had come to listen without my knowing.

I left then, unable to bear the fact that Tasuki could not remember me and that I was being bullied by two wimps such as Chichiri and Kouji. As soon as I arrived home I flopped down on my bed and slept in my clothes until the phone rang. I wasn't going to pick it up at first but after it rang about fifteen times I grabbed it off of nightstand and jammed it next to my ear.

"What?" I asked groggily.

"Guess what!?" The girly shriek on the other end let me know that it was to Nuriko that I spoke.

"What?" I asked again.

"Kouji and I are going steady! Isn't that so cool!? Thank you soooo much for inviting him over to the party! After I heard his voice I realized he was the guy from the sex hotline I always call, and he recognized _me_, too! It was like love at first sight! Tata!" He hung up.

At that moment I swore revenge. Damn that Kouji!


End file.
